


I Lost a Sister

by whisperingstars



Series: Magical Wishes Do Not Always Come True [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Broken Promises, Child Neglect, Dementors, Even After All This, F/M, Fear, I still love you, Language of Flowers, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Love/Hate, Music, Neglect, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Piano, Rain, Regret, Sister-Sister Relationship, So does Petunia, The Author Regrets Everything, rainfall, the road not taken
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-15 16:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7230787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperingstars/pseuds/whisperingstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You didn't just lose a mother that night in Godric's Hollow, you know," Petunia said.</p><p>A great yet brief silence came between Harry and her.</p><p>"I lost a sister,"</p><p>Or, a collection of moments that touch upon Petunia Dursley's thoughts...and her regret. </p><p>NOTE: This is no way a justification for Petunia's abusive nature toward Harry, but rather gives a reason for her actions and delves into her logic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Lost a Sister

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I like making people cry? Oh that's right, I'm a writer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Petunia Dursley ponders her future and her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly inspired by some Tumblr posts I saw on Instagram.

It was raining. Of course it was, there was hardly a day in England when the sky wasn't at least drizzling a little. 

But today, the rain seemed more significant. Perhaps because Petunia Dursley was leaving 4 Privet Drive. Forever. 

The rain softly beat against the Dursley vehicle, strong and constant in rhythm. The car was unusually silent, Vernon typically complaining about some affair he had read in the paper or Petunia gossiping about whatever she had heard that day. Petunia glanced into the mirror, eyeing the empty seat in the car next to Dudley. Her subconscious filled the space with a face, but she pushed it away. 

She would never have to deal with that face again. Ever. No more magical involvement. No more witches or wizards from afar. And no more of the name "Harry Potter". 

Petunia was unsure if she was feeling relief or heartache at her conclusion. Harry had always been somewhat of a burden to her. A reminder, rather, of the things she did not desire to dwell on. But he wasn't a bad person. _Actually, he never was._

Unfortunately, when Petunia thought this, a sudden pang of guilt and distress flooded her mind. He was never a disobedient child. No, before the days of magic, he was quite the perfect child. To a certain extent, of course. He was formerly a happy (or happier) child, eager to do what Vernon and Petunia asked, seeking the praise that Dudley always received. He was bright enough to take initiative for certain things, like picking flowers for Petunia's vases or making cards for the family for the holidays.

But he obtained only harsh words and a slap to the face. Petunia ran her hands through her hair. She looked out the window and onto the passing world that moved her farther and farther away from Privet Drive. She should have said something. She should have apologized for all the years he spent crying (and she knew he cried). _**She should have apologized for not being Lily.**_

Petunia bit her lip. She spent all her childhood thinking that. _Not being Lily._  

Did it matter? Probably not, but Lily's essence had haunted her even while she was still living. Petunia felt that she was everything Lily was not and that was made apparent a long time ago, before Harry, before James, and even before Hogwarts.

 _Magic had ruined everything important to Petunia._ It ruined her family then and it nearly ruined her family now. The thought of magic and its effect on Petunia's life almost had her head spinning. Perhaps leaving Privet Drive and the other world behind was a blessing. Petunia could finally have her normality. She could finally let herself forget. She could finally be free of the chains that had bonded her to the wizarding world. But was it proper closure?

Petunia found her thoughts running themselves into a cycle. Guilt, justification, doubt, then back to guilt once more. Petunia would like to tell herself that this was the first time she had been through such a cycle. She would like to pretend that such miserable thoughts had only come this one time.

But those were lies.

The rain began to pour and thunder against the body of the car. Vernon cursed as he squinted at the waterfall of a windshield. "Blast this bloody rain," he said, slowing the car's pace. He then proceeded to switch the radio on, the hum of soft music drumming away the silence as he grumbled about the weather. 

But Petunia only heard the rainfall. And it seemed, she felt herself drown in the sound of the rain. This feeling wasn't new, as much as Petunia would like to protest that it was. The memories, the hardship, the lies that had become a barrier between those things...

The rainfall suddenly became a soft drizzle, only leaving specks of water against the windows. And, at that moment, Petunia's thoughts reached a single and undeniable truth among the confliction.    

Harry was a reminder alright. He was a reminder of the things Petunia always regretted.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy, do I like feeling the feels. I may edit this chapter later, but I didn't want it to be too indepth (that's for later chapters). Next chapter, we will be traveling back into the childhood of Lily and Petunia Evans. Brace yourselves.


End file.
